Just a few days ago I found myself singing that old cute little song that has only these words, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Why? I desperately needed His joy and encouragement at that moment! Prior to that, I began to become impatient, and not be the joyful mother of children we all strive to be. Can anyone else relate? It was still morning and already I had attempted to be referee between my boys several times. We have 5 boys and I homeschool all of them. Then, I found myself having to clean ground-in mud from our light colored carpets which was dragged in by the 5 year old from his morning of delightful mud-playing in the rain soaked back yard. I had made breakfast for everyone but me and I still hadn't had my morning cup of tea. Not my ideal way to start the day! I had no idea what was about to transpire, that I would completely lose my joy and yell at the treasures who were entrusted to my care. Definitely not joyful mother material!
So here is how it went down: I had told everyone to clean the house, from the oldest to the youngest. They range in age from 18 down to 5. They are familiar with the drill. We have had to keep the house picked up and spotless due to our house being for sale. I would not wish this awful torture on anyone! The two youngest, ages 9 and 5, share a bedroom. They were to put their folded clean clothes away and the dirty ones which were strewn about the room were to be properly stored in the dirty clothes basket. Adding to my stress, at this point it was 11:00 am and I had not yet started homeschooling the 9 year old for the day. Upon entering the room a little while later, I horrifically discovered that the 5 year old had taken EVERY piece of clothing and deposited them all in the dirty clothes basket. YES, even the mile high mounds of folded and clean clothes! They were all undone and mixed in with the dirty clothes in the hamper. I mean, really?! I thought that by setting a timer, it would encourage them to not dawdle and get the job done properly, however my best laid plans had backfired. You can probably guess what happened next. Yep, I lost my joy. My patience and cool demeanor was out the window, and I spewed all over them! Yes, me, the pastor's wife, the mature Christian woman who is supposed to exemplify patience and gentleness in all circumstances. I did something I am not proud of, I yelled at my precious children. The look on their little faces spoke volumes; they were shocked and taken aback. It was like I was watching myself do this, and in slow motion! It was awful, I felt awful, and so did they. After I calmed down and apologized, I called in all of the troops to help and together we sorted and refolded the clothes.
As I reflected on my actions later that day, I confessed to the Lord how I had miserably failed Him and my boys. And I came to the conclusion as to why. I hadn't let His joy be my strength or manifested the fruit of patience, one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). And that can only come from spending time in His presence. That is what was lacking. When I fail as a mother, wife, daughter or friend, I can almost always trace it back to the failure of spending time with Him. I had let the busyness and cares of this life distract me from what is truly important.
John 15:4-5 says, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." NLT
Only by continually remaining in Him,will I bear fruit. The word "remain" is the Greek word "meno." It means to stay, as in one place. We have to stay in one place-with Him. We cannot expect to bear any kind of fruit apart from Him. And in order to do that we must spend time with Him, in His Word and prayer, continually letting Him fill us anew every day. It is the only way to succeed in this life. When I have been freshly filled by being in His presence, then the fruit of patience will be produced in my life.
James 4:6-8 gives me, gives all of us, wonderful encouragement, "But God gives us even more grace, as the Scripture says, 'God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.' 7 So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you. 8 Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure." NCV
He gives us even more grace!! Praise God!!!! I need a whole lot of grace, and thank God that His grace is unending, if we will just stay there in it! If we will stay humble, and not puffed up in pride, thinking we can do it all by ourselves, then He promises to give us grace and more grace! I don't know about you, but I am in need of His grace every minute of every day.
Verse 8, Come near to God and God will come near to you. God promises to come near to those who will come near to Him, and call upon His name, in true repentance. As we humbly submit to God, we will find that He gives abundant grace, forgiveness, blessings, love, mercy and help in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 says that we can boldly and confidently approach His throne of grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. That goes for any and all circumstance of our lives. My friends, REMAIN in Him and we will find that our lives produce more and more fruit. Not only will our own lives be blessed, but the also the lives of all those around us, especially our husbands and children, will be blessed as well, and they will find encouragement and nourishment.
Choosing to remain in Him,
Kim Dillingham
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So here is how it went down: I had told everyone to clean the house, from the oldest to the youngest. They range in age from 18 down to 5. They are familiar with the drill. We have had to keep the house picked up and spotless due to our house being for sale. I would not wish this awful torture on anyone! The two youngest, ages 9 and 5, share a bedroom. They were to put their folded clean clothes away and the dirty ones which were strewn about the room were to be properly stored in the dirty clothes basket. Adding to my stress, at this point it was 11:00 am and I had not yet started homeschooling the 9 year old for the day. Upon entering the room a little while later, I horrifically discovered that the 5 year old had taken EVERY piece of clothing and deposited them all in the dirty clothes basket. YES, even the mile high mounds of folded and clean clothes! They were all undone and mixed in with the dirty clothes in the hamper. I mean, really?! I thought that by setting a timer, it would encourage them to not dawdle and get the job done properly, however my best laid plans had backfired. You can probably guess what happened next. Yep, I lost my joy. My patience and cool demeanor was out the window, and I spewed all over them! Yes, me, the pastor's wife, the mature Christian woman who is supposed to exemplify patience and gentleness in all circumstances. I did something I am not proud of, I yelled at my precious children. The look on their little faces spoke volumes; they were shocked and taken aback. It was like I was watching myself do this, and in slow motion! It was awful, I felt awful, and so did they. After I calmed down and apologized, I called in all of the troops to help and together we sorted and refolded the clothes.
As I reflected on my actions later that day, I confessed to the Lord how I had miserably failed Him and my boys. And I came to the conclusion as to why. I hadn't let His joy be my strength or manifested the fruit of patience, one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). And that can only come from spending time in His presence. That is what was lacking. When I fail as a mother, wife, daughter or friend, I can almost always trace it back to the failure of spending time with Him. I had let the busyness and cares of this life distract me from what is truly important.
John 15:4-5 says, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." NLT
Only by continually remaining in Him,will I bear fruit. The word "remain" is the Greek word "meno." It means to stay, as in one place. We have to stay in one place-with Him. We cannot expect to bear any kind of fruit apart from Him. And in order to do that we must spend time with Him, in His Word and prayer, continually letting Him fill us anew every day. It is the only way to succeed in this life. When I have been freshly filled by being in His presence, then the fruit of patience will be produced in my life.
James 4:6-8 gives me, gives all of us, wonderful encouragement, "But God gives us even more grace, as the Scripture says, 'God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.' 7 So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you. 8 Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure." NCV
He gives us even more grace!! Praise God!!!! I need a whole lot of grace, and thank God that His grace is unending, if we will just stay there in it! If we will stay humble, and not puffed up in pride, thinking we can do it all by ourselves, then He promises to give us grace and more grace! I don't know about you, but I am in need of His grace every minute of every day.
Verse 8, Come near to God and God will come near to you. God promises to come near to those who will come near to Him, and call upon His name, in true repentance. As we humbly submit to God, we will find that He gives abundant grace, forgiveness, blessings, love, mercy and help in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 says that we can boldly and confidently approach His throne of grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. That goes for any and all circumstance of our lives. My friends, REMAIN in Him and we will find that our lives produce more and more fruit. Not only will our own lives be blessed, but the also the lives of all those around us, especially our husbands and children, will be blessed as well, and they will find encouragement and nourishment.
Choosing to remain in Him,
Kim Dillingham