The Art of Relationships

“The art of relationships requires that a man who is very different from his woman finds common ground with her and vice versa. We are meant to balance each other by attracting people whose strengths may be our weaknesses. Together as a result of our differences and unique distinctions, we complement each other. Understanding only comes when you stand under a real desire to know, love, and comprehend the other person, embracing the uniqueness of who they are.”  - TD Jakes

26 plus years later, five lovable children, twelve irresistible grandchildren, my husband and I still embrace the uniqueness of each other, who we are, and the unique connection we have together.   I have evolved with my husband and we have become best friends.    

 In our early years of marriage, we began to discover rather quickly that we had our differences.  Our personality types, our strengths, our weaknesses, our backgrounds, our interests and even the gifting and anointing on our lives were so different.  We soon realized that these differences were ultimately designed to complement and bring great balance to each other and our marriage and were not ever intended to pull us apart.  We were created both similarly and yet differently in order to fulfill God's purposes.  Often times, I humorously remind my husband to ‘come into my world for a bit’ when I want him to take interest in something that I’m solely interested in and bless his darling heart, ‘he’s not.’ 

I believe it’s so very important for us, ladies, to invest in our marriage relationship – after all, marriage is the second greatest decision we’ll ever make after receiving Jesus Christ into our life.  God desires for our marriages to be like days of heaven on earth and I can honestly say, I’m living proof of that and you can have that too!  Marriage is one of God’s greatest institutions on the earth and it’s worth investing in.  Over the years, I’ve invested in our marriage by collecting, reading/studying some of the best-selling books on marriage.  One that I believe is a must read to add to your book collection is “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.    

 Did you know that even in the area of love, our love languages can be as different as French and English, but once discovered can be the key to a long lasting, loving marriage?  Just a little nugget from this illuminating book:  “We must be willing to learn our spouse's primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.” – Wow!

Jesus says it plainly in John 8:32: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”  Knowing the truth and properly using what we know will set our marriages free (information is a powerful thing.)   Freedom is the direct result of knowledge.  Now I can see why Paul prayed the Ephesians prayer that they eyes of our understanding be enlightened.  Knowledge (love language knowledge) and its proper use are powerful and win battles!  I made a quality decision a long time ago, that my marriage would never perish because of a lack of knowledge.

Ladies, may you experience a real desire to know, love, and comprehend your spouse, embracing the uniqueness of who they are in your life today and may your marriage be like days of heaven on earth.         

~Mary McIver