For years I had observed the dysfunction of my parents' marriage. After yet another explosive evening, I determined that I would position myself, so that if I ever wanted to leave a marriage, I could do so. To me, this meant being financially self sufficient and independent.
So, I chose my career path based on annual income. I graduated from college and got a job in my field right away. Because I am a natural leader and because I was not going to be dominated by a man, I was the leader of our household. Life was good!
But then.....the Lord began to deal with me and show me the error of my ways.
I began to learn about submission and I knew that I needed to make a change. Since that time, I have sought to be submitted to my husband. This has been an up and down journey for me. I have not arrived, but I have made progress. I have learned some key principles as I have journeyed his path. I would like to share some of those principles with you.
Why?
You have probably heard the scripture in Eph 5:22 that says - "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord." We submit because we are commanded to submit. That's the order that God ordained. And because God ordained it that way, that's where the anointing is. Men are anointed to be the head of the home.
But ladies, we are not left out. Prov. 31:27 says, "She watches over the affairs of her household." Over the course of my marriage, there would be various times when there would be unspoken undertones in our home. I would mention it to my husband and he had no idea they even existed. Sometimes they were so obvious to me and I could not understand how he could NOT have picked up on it. Now I know why - that's not where his anointing is. It's my anointing to watch over the affairs of the home and in so doing, I pick up on those things. I am the anointed watchman, the guard of our home!
What?
What does submission look like? Some say it is agreeing with your spouse. I have to challenge that perspective. I believe that submission only comes when you both disagree. To move forward, one has to give in. That's us Ladies! When there is disagreement, we can state our view, but if he still sees it differently, we are the ones to give in, to submit to his decision. If he is making what seems like a completely silly decision, that's ok. God will honor us for submitting.
How?
There are two ways - 1) by faith and 2) as unto the Lord. In 1 Pet 3:1-5 it says:
"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands." [emphasis mine]
This passage also tells us to be submissive and gives great insight as to why and how. But I believe a key here is that simple phrase, these women of previous generations who are to be admired and respected, trusted in God. We have to trust God that as we submit, He will have His hand on our husbands, as the head of household. It is an act of faith.
For me that means I have to pray and otherwise, keep my mouth shut!
The second way we submit is as to the Lord. As we saw in Eph. 5:22 - we are told to submit to our husbands as to the Lord. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church. There will be times when you don't think he's loving you that way.
Submit anyway - you are doing it as unto the Lord, because God commanded you to, not because your husband deserves it.
Now a disclaimer - If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to seek outside counsel and soon. This devotion is not directed to those relationships.
With the exception of abusive situations, we should always be submitted to our husbands. A good rule of thumb to live by, is considering Christ and the church. The church is the bride of Christ. If you are in a situation and you are not sure what direction to take, consider if it would be appropriate for the church to respond in like manner to Christ. The church should always be in submission to Christ and should never try to manipulate or control the Savior.
I've found that submission is very freeing. There are decisions that I do not have to be responsible for - woohoo! I've also found it to be very challenging, especially to keep quiet. But we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13), and so I press on!
I would love to hear your story on submission!
Be Blessed!
Dawn
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