Do You Know Who I Am? by Daphne Delay

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

Have you ever had days where you feel so bad for how you have acted?  Maybe it was an outburst of anger, or a judgment against someone.  Maybe it was just a lack of faith in an area, or a moment of insanity, or simply a period where you just forgot about God and His Word?  When you do come to your senses you feel ashamed because you know there is no real excuse.  Sure, you could think of one if you tried hard enough, but then you'd just be guilty of justifying your sin (which of course, is another sin). 

But then, because you love God, you pray and repent and seek forgiveness.  As His creation, we have this promise that when we "confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).  Yet as wonderful and true as this promise is, have you ever still just struggled with questions like: Why do you put up with me God?

  

I remember when I was a new Christian, just learning the basic principles of the Word of God, I would often say to Him, "Do You know who I am?  Haven't You seen the things I've done?"  I would hear of His great mercy and longsuffering and it would boggle my mind to think of it.  Could it all be true?  Is God really that forgiving?  Doesn't He know who I am and what I have done?  Doesn't He see my failures and shortcomings?  The scriptures would bring comfort to me as I would read or hear a minister speak of the love of God: "Their sins and lawless deeds I will remember no more" (Hebrews 10:17); "As far as the east is from the west that is how far He has removed our rebellious acts from Himself" (Psalm 103:12); "I, even I, am He that blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and will not remember your sins" (Isaiah 43:25).  Yet, no matter how many times I heard it, it was still an act of faith on my part to believe it because of those driving questions: "Do You know who I am?  Haven't You seen the things I've done?"  

Since then, I have grown in the Lord and in knowledge and understanding of His Word.  I have embraced these truths and His faithfulness.  Yet even now, I have my days where I wonder how He puts up with me!  I know that no one is perfect, but it still grieves me greatly when I have momentary flesh fits and outbursts.   The devil doesn't have to put guilt and condemnation on me because I am mad at myself without his help!  And then here come those same questions once again: "Do You know who I am?  Haven't You seen the things I've done?"  And I wonder how He uses me at all.

But then... The loving Spirit of God says to me: "Do you know who I am?  Haven't you seen the things I've done?"  And then I remember how Abraham lied and said his wife was his sister, yet God forgave him and made him the father of many nations.  I remember that David was an adulterer, yet when he repented, the Lord blotted out his transgressions and called him a man after His own heart.  I remember how Paul said he was an ignorant and insolent man, the chief of all sinners, and yet God gave him great revelation of who we are in Christ.  And my answer has to be: Yes God, I know who You are.  I have seen the things You've done.

You are my High Priest, the One who ministers for me.  You are my Interceder, the One who pleads, negotiates, and asks for mercy on my behalf.  You are my Savior, my Redeemer, my Rescuer, my Knight in shining armor.  You are My Mediator, my go-between and my umpire.  You are my Advocate, the One who supports, promotes, and believes in me.  You are my Surety, my security and guarantee.  You are my Lord, the captain, commander and ruler of my heart.  I have seen Your faithfulness when I wasn't faithful.  I have seen Your love when I wasn't lovely.  I have seen Your longsuffering when I was stubborn and Your grace when I was undeserving.  I have seen You open blind eyes and deaf ears.  I have seen You take a child of the devil and turn him or her into a child of God.  I have seen You in creation.  I have seen You in the eyes of others.  I have seen You work through the hands of many and the hands of few.  Yes, Lord, I have seen You.

My mistakes are there and unfortunately will not completely go away.  "For we all stumble in many things.  If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body" (James 3:2).  It is no excuse for sin, but it is a part of our make-up nonetheless.  The thing to remember is this: "Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that great, perfect sanctuary in heaven, not made by human hands and not part of this created world.  Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.  We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world and that by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered Himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins.  That is why He is the one who mediates the New Covenant between God and people.  Therefore if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous.  In this way Jesus has become the surety of a better promise.  And for this reason Christ died and came back to life so that He would be Lord of both the living and the dead" (Hebrews 9:11; 7:25; 1 John 4:14; Hebrews 9:14-15; I John 2:1; Hebrews 7:22; Romans 14:9).

So when you are tempted to ask God: "Do You know who I am?  Haven't You seen the things I've done?"  Be prepared for His answer: "Do you know who I am?  Haven't you seen the things I've done?"